BANG FOR YOUR BUCK!!! A Kitchen Re-do!

The big job that I have been putting off is my kitchen update.  I don't plan on doing a kitchen "remodel" with new layout and all that. -My kitchen layout is fine for this house and it can't really be changed without some major structural re-configuring. And we aren't sure if this is our "forever" home or not. If not, our next one definitely will be. But until we figure that out, I just wanted to upgrade my kitchen. And get new appliances. Because I hated the way my cabinets looked!  But I love how they look now! This is how great they turned out!!! And ya don't have to spend thousands of dollars to give your space a simple facelift. New appliances were a bit pricey but painting the cabinets was truly the biggest change for the least amount of money. 
                          Take a look now!!! I just love it!

AND ANOTHER CLOSE UP OF THE COLOR...

from this.... 

to this....

AND HERE ARE SOME OF THE BEFORE AND DURING PICTURES.......

Learning to speak for myself...

I read something this morning that reminded me of the power of pray and the power of words…

that when I'm talking to God about HIS Child-myself or one of my loved ones- that I couldn't disrespect the Lord by complaining and speaking ill about HIS child. I can not speak curses and faults about the one whom God loves. God doesn’t make mistakes with who we are. We are his children, failings and all. We should not be speaking negatively of our Lords creations.

So this made me wonder to myself and aloud to share with you...where did we get the idea that it’s okay to put ourselves down? We were made in HIS image. Have you thanked Him for who you are? You may say, “Oh no I am a failure, I am a sinner, a loser. I don’t measure up. You don’t know the things I have done.” Well, God does. And He still loves and wants you with Him. So how dare we speak of God’s creation (us, our spouse, our children, family and friends) in that way? We have learned to speak in negative ways about ourselves as well as others. It is learned behavior. It is not only accepted but encouraged to put ourselves down. Because we never measure up to the image the world has said we should be. We were not made in the image of the world but in the IMAGE OF GOD! We need to get a hold of that and begin to see ourselves that way.

We need to learn about the power of words. The life and death of the tongue.  We need to relearn how to speak to ourselves. It is a process that does not come natural unless we had Godly parents who may have taught us. But we CAN learn it. We can ask God to guard our tongues. We can learn to take our scriptures and stand before the mirror and speak out what we mean to God. What He says about us. It may feel weird, or fake and unnatural at first, I know. But that’s because it’s Truth and we have accustomed ourselves to lies. Lies that the enemy tells us when we believe all the negative things about ourselves. It is what we say about ourselves, our children, our husbands and wives. I’m not talking about ungodly pride. I am talking about seeing God in ourselves and honoring that.

We need to begin each day with affirmation to ourselves and our loved ones of who we are in God. Have you thanked God for and prayed for your spouse today? For your husband or wife? Your children? Family and friends? Have you asked God to bless them in all they do? Have you prayed for God's love to shine on their face as it says in Numbers 6? Think about it. Think about the difference it would, could, will make in your marriage, with your children, your family and friends. In your life as a whole. Have you used your tongue today to speak life over yourself or your loved ones? Have you put those life affirming words into the atmosphere?

Numbers 6:22 says

...The LORD bless you
   and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
   and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
   and give you peace.”

This is a blessing given to Moses. Can you imagine if we took the few moments each morning to thank God, truly for our spouse, for the blessing of God for him or her? What if we

Goodbye Dad and Bethy too...

I've been thinking about my dad who passed away 4 months ago- October 23rd 2011. I only knew him for a short time. He left when I was little and my mom raised us as a single parent. Their were lots of struggles but she raised us mostly on her own and did everything she could to take care of our needs. I give her credit for her perseverance and great strength. It's tough. My dad left when I was little girl and I missed all those things most girls take for granted growing up with a father. I never got to be daddy's little girl. I never got to dream about marrying someone like him. And he never walked me down the isle.
But we reconnected about 12 years ago. He asked for and I gave forgiveness. He turned out to be a good man who made a very bad decision many years ago in his youth. And I learned long ago that unforgiveness serves no purpose and only makes one a bitter person. It takes hold of your heart and turns it black. And the person you refuse to forgive isn't hurt by it, you are. 
Besides, I wanted to know him. So we got to know each other through 1 wonderful visit after 30 odd years and many long distance calls. He drove with his lovely wife Gloria clear across the country to see me. We spent a week together. That was the one and only time I was to have with him. We lived more than 2000 miles apart. Unfortunately very little time was had before he passed away. It doesn't seem fair...
My "daddy" was a man I never really got to know.  And I have a half sister and half brothers I never got to know. Occasional emails or post on Facebook but that's it. 
I saw this video and thought of him. And then I thought of Betheny, an amazingly beautiful young woman and part of our "heart" family that we lost last year. She was such a beautiful 25 year old  woman and mommy. She was my daughter Jessica's best friend of almost 20 years...since they were little tikes. They grew up together. She had so much more living and loving to do. But now she's doing it in Heaven. You can read about her in this other post...

http://buildingsandcastlesinthewind.blogspot.com/2011/10/bethy-and-louiewhat-wonderful-world.html

But take a listen to this wonderful song, for the both of them...

Sadness and loss...again.

So I have been trying to keep this blog a little lighter than I use to. But this has been a tough week to do that. Impossible to do so this week. Back home in my home town tragedy has struck-again. Y'all know if you've read my previous blogs that my daughter Jessica's best friend, sweet Betheny Mehall and her boyfriend Cord Cox were both shot and killed a year ago this February. As if the remembrance of that isn't painful enough....well, shockingly its gotten worse. The Cox family, Cord's parents, lost their other son -Cord's younger brother Nick this past week in an auto accident! I can not even imagine such heartache as losing your son and his girlfriend and 1 year later, just days after the anniversary of that to loose your other son!  Both of them young men in their 20's. To young to die. Nothing seems fair and nothing makes sense.

And now the shooting and subsequent death of the young students in Chardon. Just 20 minutes down the road from my home town. Another tragedy and loss of life. Families dealing with such a profound loss. My heart goes out for them all. Including the family of the shooter. As in the situation with the first shooting of Beth and Cord, likewise in the Chardon tragedy. The family of the young man who made the decision to take some one else's life has to live with their sons actions too. Gosh, so much pain and loss for everyone. I pray peace and comfort for them all.

 I am a Christian and as such, I can only feel and experience this from my own perspective. I hope they knew God. Not because it will make it easier and in no way do I mean that these tragedies wouldn't have happened if they did. Only so that they could feel His comfort in the midst of this. That they may feel his love. So they may know His heart breaks for them too. My heart so aches for them. There is nothing that can change this situation. I can do nothing for these families to relieve their pain. But I can pray. And I will...continually for them all.  

This video is hilarious. Her name is Pam Peterson. So appropriate for this time in my life....lol

Ch...Ch...Changes....

Hey there,

So this blog started out to be just about my faith. But slowly I have come to realize that I have more to say. Much more. Uh oh. Yes, I am a child of God but I am also a woman who likes to read, laugh, decorate, garage sale, beach it, fish, hang out on the fishing pier, find great recipes, talk about my grandbabies, and did I mention-decorate!?!! All those things make up who I am, along with my faith. Like threads in fabric they all are woven together to make me-me! And I'm pretty cool, actually. LOL...Hey! It's not just my opinion-God says in Psalm 17 that I am the apple of His eye...so there! So I am shifting this blog to be more about................

Bethy and Louie...What a wonderful world...

As I breeze through the house cleaning, I stop and do a turn and sway to the music.The day started sad. So I made a choice this morning. To listen to the music. Now, there's a smile on my face. Louie Armstrong, one of my favorites is singing. He is chuckling. And I chuckle with him. Because in this moment, this one small moment of time, we share a single thought- What a wonderful world it is. I smile. It is a matter of perspective. To see beauty in what could be an ugly world. Good will overcome. Although this year I questioned that. More than I ever have in my life.

Sweet, vibrant CRAZY Betheny

2011 came in with a roar. A viscous roar. There was Bethy. Sweet beautiful Betheny. Now this -this rocked my world. Straight to the core. I am still in shock and still rebuilding my heart......
This is why I need to write today. To remind myself of the beauty of this world amidst the ugly. Perspective? I can't seem to put her loss in its place. This one still makes me cry all the time. Makes me wonder about this world. Beautiful and full of life. She was the one who always dared. Dared to be different, dared to be noticed, dared to do anything. No fear in her at all. She was larger than life. When she was little she had a way of always making sure you knew she was in the room. And that never changed. She was my daughters best friend. She was a part of our entire lives. From childhood to adulthood to motherhood. And I can not believe she is gone. She was suppose to be here to see her best friend, my daughter Jesse's little Addison born. For her and Jess to raise their boys together as friends too. To fight with Jess's other friends for the position of Maid of Honor at her wedding. I really wanted to see the end of her story. To see her as an old lady. To see her raise her son. I watched her grow from a little girl into a young woman and then a mother of her own child. Its the circle of life. I never thought for a moment she wouldn't finish that circle here with us. My heart still aches. There is a saying..."Live life out loud". Well if ever someone did, it was her. She piled a lot into her short life. And that was taken from her at 25. From us. Her family, friends and from her son. Bethany was murdered February 19th, 2011. Along with her boyfriend Cord. They died at the hands of another. A lost soul who made a decision to takes her life along with the life of Cord due to his own brokenness. Violently and selfishly. A split second decision and act of violence from this man and lives are robbed. -And Bethy is gone from us all. And hearts are destroyed. Families are pulled apart and a little 5 year old boy is left without his mother. My daughter Jessica lost her best friend. I lost a "daughter". And her mother, my dear friend Julie, lost her world, her heart. It will never make sense to me. I will never understand it. I look at her picture on the shelf and still ask why? My comfort comes in the fact that I believe I will see her again. My hope is in this.

My daughter Jessica and Beth  BF's Forever!

Through all the pain, heartache and loss I have felt this year, I still believe in good. I remind myself of the good things in my life. I have a good man. A strong, loving and kind Christian man. He still opens doors for me after almost 10 years together. He calls me babe, and means it. He still offers me something when he gets himself a glass of tea. He puts me first. He was raised to be a gentleman, and remains true to that. I have children. Not always without issues and troubles, but they are mine and they love me. They still come to me. We still talk and laugh together. I have beautiful grandchildren-all ages. Newborns to 10 years old. Nine of them! I have been in the room and witnessed 3 of their births in the last year. A beautiful home with a pool within a mile of the the beautiful Atlantic ocean. A nice solid running SUV that I love and can drive out on the beach. A great loving church and church family. Wonderful friends. Yes, its a wonderful life. Not perfect by any means. But I am content. Could I use some more money? Yes. Would I love that new fridge? Yes, absolutely! Do I wish some things had turned out differently? Yes. But joy comes from within. And I am joyous. And I believe contentment is learned. And I am content. I am learning such joy and contentment at this stage of my life from the small things. The "jasmine?" scent that filters in my windows. The breeze coming through the front screen. The gentle rain. The birds chirping. The word "gram" from a child. The drive over Snows Cut Bridge with the Cape Fear river on one side and the ocean on the other. Laughing with friends. Revelations from God. And listening to Louie.....

Do I say these things so someone will be envious? NO! I know I have a good life and I am blessed. Many do not have the same comforts as I do. And some have more. I say these things to remind myself. So I do not get blase' about life. Both the big things and the small. Life is fragile. It is to be honored and held dearly in your hands. We are given gifts from God to cherish.

I am still grieving the loss of Bethy. I miss her. A mother herself, a beautiful child such as her should not be taken so young from parents and friends who love her. But she was. So I try to honor and hold dear the things I have. And not waste "life". The things I cherish. And yes, appreciate the simple things such as the sweet fragrance coming through my window. If I can learn to honor and appreciate all the little things in life, the blessings I have, then I think it honors her memory. To not take for granted all the little things that were stolen from her. I thought of her a lot this morning. I think of her every day. But today, the tears began. So that's why the music came on. She loved music. She loved to dance. I can choose to look at the negative or the positive. To love or hate. To be angry or peaceful. To gripe or be thankful. To forgive or hold on to unforgiveness. To sit or to dance. I didn't always have contentment so I appreciate it now. We get so wrapped up in all the things we don't have that sometimes I think we need to take a moment and remember what we do have. And speak it out. Words have power. Life and death comes from our lips. So speak LIFE!!! So I visualize it. Speak it out. Write it down. Smile about it. And speak thankfulness. Loudly!!!. .........And remember to hold life dear. And I will strive to remember all of Bethy. Not how she died, but how she lived. And if you can do all that while listening to a little Louie, then that's even better. And dear sweet daughter Bethy, this dance with Louie, is for you.....

Beth and little boy JJ

Cord and Beth

Bethy

HUSHED TONES

Yesterday I went to get my hair done at a salon in town. I normally don't go to this salon because its very upscale and very overpriced. But my husband had bought me a gift certificate there last year so I went to use it. As I sat down in the chair and began friendly conversation with the stylist I had never met, we made small talk. Throughout the conversation from different things she said I realized she was a Christian. She didn't announce it, she simply made small talk about her life. (no we Christians don't have a secret handshake) I didn't say a whole lot, I just listened. In doing so there were so many hints and veiled references to her faith that I just knew she was. I was at the salon for almost 3 hours. (Apparently I needed a lot of work!)...

Measuring Up

What do you do when you don't feel like you measure up? Like there is always something you are doing wrong? I have felt that way for quite a while with certain issues and people. Sometimes I feel like I am being measured by a yardstick that belongs to someone else...

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A COMEDY OF ERRORS

Feeling like Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis in the OUT OF TOWNERS
About my trip back home to Ohio... August 12 2008
We left on Monday morning. I was so excited. Not just about the trip...even though we planned on going back to Annapolis (a town I love) as well as Washington DC, Philly, Atlantic City and possibly the Outer Banks. No I was excited to go to little old Geneva Ohio, my hometown. The trip was a lot of fun but didn't turn out exactly as planned.

Feels like Home

Random thoughts on life and love ...playing in the sand...and thoughts of faith...these are just some of the things I would like to share on this blog. Several years ago I left my hometown in Northeast Ohio, after living there for most of my life. I moved across the country. I came here to North Carolina. To the ocean. To the piers, the sand, the dolphins playing, sharks gliding through the waters, pelicans begging for fish, seagulls stealing my bait, morning coffee by the water. And I have loved every minute of it. When I cross the bridge to the island...

I look to both sides and I see the ocean to one side and the beautiful river to the other. I know in that moment that
I belong here. It was a long journey but I am home. And this is where God has brought me. And for a season, this is where he wants me to stay.
This is where He talks to me....
Since I have come here I have found a different God. Not the judgmental God of my youth. Not the harsh unloving one I had known. But a bigger God, A loving God who makes me feel valued and loved. A God who forgives. A God who still heals, moves, breathes, creates and forgives. And one who is not quiet but who still talks to His people. Why did I ever doubt that? Because I was taught to. I was indirectly led to believe that God no longer speaks to His people. That those days were gone. And sadly, I believed it. I worshipped a silent God.
I can't pinpoint the moment He spoke to me. But He did. It was soft and sweet. And it came to me in love. He told me He held no record of my wrongs. It was plain as day. A soft quiet whisper in my thoughts that I knew were not mine, but His. And then it began. Regular conversations with God. Not audible. But still small whispers to me. That He loves me. That I am forgiven. That I belong to Him. That I am His daughter. He continues to speak to me. Sometimes I hear very clearly what He says. Other times its harder. And I realize that in those times, I have not been talking to Him either.That I sometimes ignore Him. I get busy and His voice gets quiet. But when I focus and when I listen....He speaks. He never stopped. We just stopped listening. But when you listen, it is so sweet. He is a loving God who longs to speak to you too.

TURNING 50

APRIL 24
To all my friends and loved ones out there.........
WOW...this is Tuesday and I turned 50. Friday my family took me out to celebrate!
I started reflecting on this a while back when my dear friend Dave turned 50 (he's older than me... ;) -and I received a letter about his feelings on it. I began to think about how I felt about the "big day".

Are you kidding me????

So today I went to get my passport for a trip to the Bahamas Larry and I are making at the end of the month. We have to expedite the procedure because of a time issue and it was discovered that my drivers license is expired. They tell me they will process it anyway but can't guarantee it will be excepted. (Yes I know I should have been aware it expired but I wasn't). It is also an Ohio drivers license. (Again, yes, I know I should have gotten my North Carolina license sooner but I didn't). I thought I had plenty of time and it didnt really matter. Now it does...

Missing Harry...

Harry and Harry Jr.

January 22 2009
As I sit here I cant help but think of how we are always so sure the people we care about are always going to be around. How arrogant we are to think we have any say in the matter. I have lost a loved one. His name was Harry. And I loved him.