Are you kidding me????

So today I went to get my passport for a trip to the Bahamas Larry and I are making at the end of the month. We have to expedite the procedure because of a time issue and it was discovered that my drivers license is expired. They tell me they will process it anyway but can't guarantee it will be excepted. (Yes I know I should have been aware it expired but I wasn't). It is also an Ohio drivers license. (Again, yes, I know I should have gotten my North Carolina license sooner but I didn't). I thought I had plenty of time and it didnt really matter. Now it does...
So I am told I should simply go to the NC DMV and have it done, right? Not a big deal, it's easy.....
Why is nothing easy????
In order to get a license in NC I was told all I needed to bring was a birth certificate and my "original" Social Security card. Whew! Have those!! So off I go.... wait!! She informed me that my SS card doesn't match my married name...well of course it doesn't...It's my "original" with my maiden name...what? Apparently they mean your "original" that has already been changed to your married name. Oh that "original"....so off I go to the SS# office to get a new card with my married name (yes I know I should have done this before!).....marriage license in hand I go..... but wait....No!............this is not a certified recorded copy of my license (I had the "original" from the preacher, -silly me). So now I have to contact Ohio to get a recorded copy of my marriage license (of course, why would I think the original would be valid?).....so I contact Ohio Vital Statistics and of course they can give me a copy. What? They don't do that online. I have to send my $5.00 first in a self addressed stamped envelope or have someone in Ohio go get it and mail it to me. What is this 1953? You can't do it online and you can't take my payment over the phone????? Okay so I will find someone in Ohio to go to the courthouse for me, get my marriage license and mail it to me (yeah people love wasting their day and going to the courthouse for documents for ya) I can then take it down to the Social Security office and get a new Social Security card so I can then go to the DMV and get a new NC drivers license so I can have it ready when the passport is sent back to me because an expired drivers license was used to get it in the first place....Geez........oh and I think my vehicle tags might be expired too.